


When The Sea Waves

by Mochibat



Category: Hetalia - Fandom
Genre: But I try to keep it as low key as possible, F/F, F/M, High School AU, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/referenced neglect/abuse, Implied/referenced suicidal themes, Kind of a slow burn, M/M, You can probably tell who dies in this one, ace Belarus - Freeform, more tags added later, pop culture references, references to Promare
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:40:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 14
Words: 10,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25051036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mochibat/pseuds/Mochibat
Summary: Kiku Honda, after moving to a nice town in Washington State, finds himself in a chaotic storm known best as high school. He finds himself making friends with a boy with a temper, a girl whose glare is as cold as ice, and someone who might just be the key to finding the waves of the ocean...
Relationships: America/Japan (Hetalia), Prussia/Romano (Hetalia), Spain/England ((background) hetalia), hungary/Austria ((background) hetalia)
Kudos: 12





	1. Home

**Author's Note:**

> So... I wrote this a while ago (like about a year ago) so some of the chapters and notes are shorter and/or more rusty than others. Still, I hope you enjoy!

They say the world gets brighter when you fall in love......

When his parents said 'we're moving to Washington state', Kiku thought they meant Seattle. He didn't expect to be living in a small town with rolling hills and farms next to forests. It was the middle of summer, making the grass turn yellow. Birds sang non stop throughout the drive. 

When his parents turned onto a dirt road lined with trees, he questioned whether he would ever get used to this new home. The house was two stories with fading blue paint. A little ways down from his house he could make out the neighbors house. Never had he thought of a place more spacious.

Yawning, Niko dragged himself out of the car. He picked up his stuffed animal lion and carried it like a baby. Kiku followed his brother inside. The floorboards creaked under their feet and voices echoed off of walls.

"You two can go ahead and pick your rooms," their father said.

Niko grinned and ran up the stairs. Kiku looked a bit unsure, but still followed. Niko picked the first room he saw. Kiku peeked through each door, but none of the rooms seemed to speak to him. They all had the same bland, boxy feeling to it.

When he got to the end, a huge room with a large window seemed like the one. The ceilings were tilted inward like an attic. Beams and pillars lined the room. There were lots of places to use as storage.

It was perfect.

_________________________

"I'm tired."

A little boy with curly blonde hair clung to his brother. It was a cold night, and the two boys decided to run away again. 

"We're almost there!" His twin said.

"I wanna go home...."

"Dad doesn't want us back Matthew. You heard him earlier."

"Still," Matthew whined.

"He practically shoved us out the door! And you wanna go back?!" 

"Alfred..." Matthew started crying. 

"Don't, don't cry. I'll start cry-crying too," Alfred felt tears form in his eyes.

"Are you boys alright?" A small blond man said. Both boys shook their heads.

"Where are your parents?"

"No. No," Alfred shook his head.

"Alright, where are you from?"

They pointed south. The man seemed to come to some realization. 

"So you're their brothers. Come with me. I'll take you to them,"

"You know Lukas?!" Matthew got excited.

"Yes, I'm his guardian."

"Cool!" Alfred said.

They followed the man to a two story house. Snow dusted the ground. The distant sound of music echoed over the porch. Colorful lights wrapped around the house. A snowman sat by the road to greet guests. It would truly be home.


	2. The Dancer

If anything were to come out of dance lessons, it would be her. Long pale hair and icy white skin. A cold glare that made Russian winters fill warm. Yes, this was the best dancer in town. Natalia.

Of course this all started when she was barely a few years old. Thrown on stage with a group of toddlers and a few adults, all dressed like pixies. Some kids bawled their eyes out. Others got distracted by the audience. And little Natalia clung to her big sisters hand, doing as she was told.

Years later she was in high school, planning on auditioning for the dance team. She held her head high, though her nerves told her to run. She entered the dimly lit room and sat against the mirrors with the others. Attracting stares, she tried to ignore them. Her presence always gave others a bad feeling.

One by one, everyone was called onto the stage. She was called somewhere in the middle. When they called her name, she almost flinched. She would be risking a lot on this audition. 

Walking onto the stage, she saw the judges. A brunette with a confident smile, a man with unusually intense violet eyes, and her short haired sister who looked somewhat worried.

The music started, and Natalia began with a twirl. The judges were obviously impressed. Her skills were close to that of a professional, and it showed. Even the most basic of turns and jumps were that of a princess. Everything was perfect. 

The floor boards creaked at her heavy landings. Despite being pulled back, her hair still managed to fly into her face. All spotlights were on her. She felt sweat begin to drip down the back of her neck. A faint scent of powder and makeup swirled through the air.

She caught a glimpse of the judges watching. They were in awe. Like they weren't expecting something like this. Even her sister looked entertained. Everything was going smoothly.

Her final move was coming up. After months of practice, she would finally make it. Turn. Turn. Turn. 2. 3. 4. Turn. 6. 7. 8. Jump. Jump. 4. 5. Leap. Turn. 8. 1. 2. 3-

Crack.....

She failed. She laid there, tears streaming down her face. From the pain of her leg or the pain of losing, she did not know. But she failed. Everyone who supported, her family, her sister. They would all know her for her failure. And she despised it.

Hours later Natalia was sent home with a few broken bones in her leg. She faced the window of the car, wondering what went wrong. She traced her finger along the glass, following the rain drops that raced down the window in a dreary dance of their own.

"So... what are you going to do now?" Anri, her older sister, said.

"Probably just go bury myself in a hole," Natalia said sarcastically.

She turned and saw her sister's alarmed expression, reassuring her that it was a joke.

"There are other things, you know? Clubs, theater and music, dating...."

"I'm not going to date anyone! Besides, it's weird." Natalia tried to hide behind her hair.

"C'mon! You'll find the one!" Her sister encouraged.

"Yeah, right."

"Tolys really likes you."

"He's annoying! And clingy!"

"And there's that boy from Estonia-" 

"Stop."

They rode in silence the rest of the way home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Natalia is Belarus   
> \- she took intense ballet lessons as she grew, making her far more skilled than many others auditioning.   
> \- many people are uneasy around her due to her eyes being cold and emotionless. She isn't very social because of this.  
> \- a lot of this was taken from memories of when I was younger and used to dance. I distinctly remember the smell of powder, makeup, and hairspray.  
> \- the flinching will come into play later.  
> \- she was taught by retired professionals.  
> \- for anyone who hasn't danced before: it can be very tiring. I've seen people push through the worst things to put on a performance that looked amazing. Every so often you get that one performance that was done to perfection by someone with a sprained ankle (sometimes worse). I don't recommend it but it's still amazing.  
> \- the counting and movements are things many teachers will do to help us learn. The one thing I didn't include were all the 'duh duuuuh duuuh's and weird names for moves.  
> \- I'm pretty sure everyone has done that thing where you follow raindrops on the window with your finger.  
> \- Washington is very rainy when it's winter.  
> \- Sarcasm would suit Natalia at this age.  
> \- Anri is Ukraine   
> \- Tolys is Lithuania   
> \- awkward silences are suited just as well as awkward conversations.   
> \- "he's annoying! And clingy ." Refers to Lithuania's love and obsession for Belarus throughout the series.


	3. Jealousy’s Child

He ran away. _Again_.

Lovino Vargas never really liked his home. His adoptive parents, Erzsébet and Roderich, liked his brother more. Feliciano was a natural artist. All Lovino could do was get into trouble. He was the definition of clumsy.

His embarrassment and anger forced him to run to his friends house. Antonio, though a year older, treated Lovino as an equal. His house was one of the few places that he could be himself.

"Oh, Lovi! Welcome back!" Antonio said when Lovino walked in.

"Is he back?" Laura shouted from the kitchen.

"I'm hungry! Do you have any food made yet 'cause my stomach is growling!" Lovino said.

"Yes, of course! And welcome back." Laura walked out of the kitchen, took off her apron, and wrapped her arms around him.

"Thanks Laura." Lovino hugged her back.

"I found a book you might like." Laura pulled out a green covered book. "It's another one of your grandfathers. One that he didn't sell."

Lovino couldn't help but grin. While he didn't inherit his grandfathers artistic talent, he had loved his books and wanted to write something himself one day. Laura and Antonio were always finding his grandfathers old works just lying around. He ended up having an entire bookshelf dedicated to them.

"Did you hear?" Urban walked in. "Gilbert's back in the hospital."

"Great... what did he catch this time?" Laura said, taking out ingredients.

"I dunno. A cold? Wish his immune system would work. Then he could come back to school," Urban whined.

Gilbert was one of the best learners and tutors at school. The sad part was that he was in the hospital all the time. He was allergic to what seemed to be just about everything, was prone to accidents, and got sick easily. Everyone pitied him to no end.

Lovino didn't just pity him, though. It was obvious enough for Laura and Urban to tease him about. At the mention of Gilbert, his face went red. That's right. Though he refused to admit it, Lovino Vargas had an obvious crush on Gilbert Beilschmidt.

"You okay, Lovi? You're all red," Antonio asked.

"Shut up!" Lovino yelled. Antonio, the most oblivious person in the room, also asked the worst questions.

"Right. Maybe you should go see him, Lovi," Laura said.

"Fine! It's better than hanging out with you three." Lovino stormed out of the house, making sure to slam the door.

Gilbert was a man of many words. Some he made up for emphasis. Some he claimed he made up because they're too big and too weird for people to actually look up. He spent most of his time on Pinterest, picking out facts and concepts for his more motivated friends. He heard a knock on the door. Lovino stepped in, holding a deli sandwich.

"This was the cheapest I could get," he said before throwing the container onto the bed.

"You're awfully nice today." Gilbert began to eat the sandwich. "So, are you ready for the first day of high school?"

"That's a month away, Gil," Lovino whined, throwing himself on the end of the bed. "Aren't you sick? You should be worrying about yourself."

"Since when did you start talking like my mom?" Gilbert said with a smirk. Lovino felt his face get warm and looked away.

"Since you started to get worse. It's not even cold and flu season and you're already locked in a hospital room," Lovino said.

"Well, at least I know someone cares." Gilbert grabbed Lovino's hand. "Thanks."

Lovino was beat red by this point. "I wouldn't have to if you just got better."

"But isn't that the fun part. You only ever come to visit me when I'm in a hospital bed. I might as well come here more often," Gilbert chuckled.

"Maybe if you're family was less scary." Lovino closed his eyes. He noticed that Gilbert was playing with his hand. The man was probably just bored. "Hey, Gil?"

"Yeah, Lovi?"

"Promise me you'll get better. Promise me you'll come to school."

"Alright. I promise."

"Thanks." Lovino looked up at Gilbert. But he was busy staring out the window.

"No problem."

Lovino was very much a jealous type. As he walked through the dimly lit hallways, he thought of how he would one day confess. Maybe not today. But one day, he promised himself, he'd find someone who would make others jealous for him. And he believed he found the one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Lovino Vargas is Romano   
> \- Erzsébet And Roderich Are Hungary and Austria   
> \- Feliciano is Italy   
> \- in the anime Austria seems to favor Italy over Romano   
> \- Antonio is Spain   
> \- Laura is Belgium  
> \- Romano giving thanks to Belgium is a reference to him being nicer to women   
> \- yes, his grandfather is dead   
> \- Urban is Luxembourg (I used a name generator)  
> \- Gilbert is Prussia   
> \- Gilbert has a weak body, making it hard for him to even stand up to a cold. His body doesn't react normally to things like viruses. I thought it would fit with the whole historically dead thing.  
> \- Prussia loves reading  
> \- Romano's a little nicer to him   
> \- Prussia's family is very busy (and rich), so only his brother ever really visits  
> \- they share a love of books mostly   
> \- Spain lives with Belgium and her brothers in one of Rome's old houses  
> \- don't really have much else to say except thanks for reading this far!


	4. The 1st Day Pt. 1

The first day of school is almost always chaotic. Kiku's morning started with his alarm clock blaring. He slapped the nightstand until he turned it off and slowly rose out of bed. The smell of eggs being fried encouraged him to put on his glasses and head downstairs.

His dad was busy singing away to a pop song overplayed on the radio while cooking the eggs. His mom was busy fussing over her work outfit in the mirror. Nico excitedly stuffed his face with toast and scrambled eggs. The boy was a bundle of energy in the early morning.

"Hurry up and eat Kiku. The bus will be here soon," said Mrs. Honda. Kiku nodded and slipped into a chair to eat.

After eating, he let his mom fix his look. She hurriedly brush stray hairs down and smooth folds in his clothes. He wore a plain white shirt tucked into a pair of jeans. A red and white windbreaker draped over his shoulders with Cons that matched. He finally escaped when his dad pointed out that he should head toward the bus stop.

Whoever decided that having teens walk to a bus stop at 6:20 am had to be nuts. By the time he got to the bus stop, Kiku felt like he just spent a days worth of energy. Standing at the stop were two twin boys with golden blond hair and glasses. Kiku frowned. He always wore contacts in public and sometimes couldn't understand why people bothered with glasses in public situations. One was on his phone, reading the news. The other was looking around til his eyes landed on Kiku.

"Hey, you the new neighbor?" He asked.

"Yes," Kiku said nervously.

" _Cool!_ I'm Alfred." He held out his hand.

"Kiku." He shook Alfred's hand.

"So, you excited for school?" Alfred said, facing the road.

"I guess," Kiku replied.

"Fair. Yo, Mattie!" Alfred tugged on his brothers arm. "Meet our new neighbor."

Matthew took off his headphones and shook Kiku's hand. "Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too," Kiku replied.

—————-

"Whoever decided buses don't need seat belts needs to reevaluate their life," Natalia whined. She was not only forced to go to public school, but she was also sliding in her seat with a cast that went just below her knee.

"Lighten up. It's not like we're taking a rocket to school," said Eduard, a tall, skinny boy with much to big of glasses. His parents worked for Natalia's family. While they never considered each other friends they shared a history of play-dates and would rather not sit with a stranger.

"Shut it." Natalia pulled her hoodie tightly around her head, hoping he'd stop talking to her.

"Wow, that's a pretty long road. Do kids really walk up that hill?" Eduard wondered out loud.

"We're in the sticks! And why are you so annoying today!"

"You know I ramble."

"Shut it." Natalia braced her arms against the seat in front of her so she wouldn't fall.

Three boys walked up the steps. One sat down in the closest empty seat and put on headphones. The other two found an empty seat and began to chat, one quite loudly compared to the other. Natalia wasn't paying attention, though. She was more worried about the fact that the changing weather was given her a major headache and Eduard wouldn't shut up.

————-

"Holy shit. Watch what you eat," Lovino yelled when his brother got in his face with a special 'good morning Lovi! I made breakfast!' greeting.

"I put extra garlic on my toast today," Feliciano explained.

"Go brush your teeth. You know how Roderich complains about everything." Lovi pushed his brother away and rolled out of bed.

Lovino was unlucky enough to get a garlic surprise in his cereal. Silenty praying that his brother was just going through a phase, he grabbed an apple and got ready for school. Erzsébet was practically crying when he finished changing, saying he looked so grown up.

"I look the same as yesterday." Lovino blushed a bit. A car honked outside. "That should be Abel. I better go."

"Bye! Good luck on your first day!" Feliciano called out. Erzsébet sobbed into her husbands arms like he was going off to college and not hell in a public building.

"Are ya ready?" Antonio asked.

"Of course not," Lovino said.

"Don't worry to much. The halls aren't that crowded," Laura said with a reassuring smile.

"I'm sure that's a lie." Lovino focused on the houses and businesses flashing by.

While the classes and lunches did mix grades, he was the only freshman in his current friend group. Abel was always easy to talk to, despite his intimidating scar. Laura and Antonio entered in the same year, so they had each other.

But Lovino felt alone. He didn't need to take the bus, so he couldn't make a sudden new friend there. Many of his middle school friends either grew out of him or go to a different school. And his crush lives on the other side of town. Not to mention everyone is pretty scared and his usual attitude might come off as scary or rude.

"Hey, remember Matthew. I hear he's going to the same school as us. And he's in the same grade as you, Lovi." Laura patted his shoulder. "Maybe you'll run into him."

Lovino just sighed. It was going to be a long year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Kiku wears glasses at home, but contacts in public. He's a little self conscious about wearing glasses.  
> \- his dad likes rap too, Incase you were wondering.  
> \- I kinda want to base his parents of either historical figures or mythological figures from Japan.  
> \- I always imagined Nico to be very easygoing and happy.  
> \- I love the word draped. It's like saying flopped but in a more elegant way.  
> \- I usually walk up to the bus at 6:25 am. It's not fun. Especially in winter and it's pitch black.  
> \- a lot of us will read news articles. Almost everyone I know has done it in their free time. Like, your waiting around and don't really wanna scroll through social media but still wanna see what's going on. So you read a probably fake article about how the Yellowstone super volcano could erupt at any moment.  
> \- a lot of the time in fanfics I see something along the lines of 'wow, are you from _____! I love that place!' Usually that doesn't happen. People will be more excited if you've read/seen something they're obsessed with. Not an actual place.  
> \- Natalia is the inner Aquarius in my heart speaking. (I get annoyed easily, but learned to keep my mouth shut most of the time).  
> \- Natalia doesn't respond well to weather changes. She's most bitter in fall/ spring. Mainly spring because of all the pollen.  
> \- Eduard is Estonia  
> \- Having Eduard and Natalia sit next to each other would visually look like a heavy metal rockstar and goths child sit next to a frail baby dear with glasses.   
> \- the three boys (if you haven't guessed) is Alfred, Matthew, and Kiku .  
> \- if you don't hold on to your belongings on the bus, chances are you'll lose five pencils and a water bottle to the chaotic back of the bus.  
> \- garlic is good until you accidentally dump half a thing of garlic salt onto your bread.  
> \- Erzsébet is naturally emotional. She's got tough skin but when it comes to to the Vargas brothers she can super fragile.  
> \- seeing as how all of Lovino's friends treat him like a little brother, he's definitely gonna get the surprise of his life in the near future.  
> \- Abel is Netherlands  
> \- Gilbert goes to the same school, so Lovino will still see him. He just overthinks everything.  
> Part 2 of this chapter will actually take place at school and is where all the main characters will properly meet. Thanks for reading!


	5. The 1st Day Pt. 2

"Dude, we got like, three classes together. Swim, ELA, and art," Alfred said to Kiku. They were going over each other's schedules.

"What's ELA stand for?" Kiku said.

"English Language Arts."

"Okay. Well, we better head to class." Kiku started walking.

"Uh, Keeks. Wrong way."Alfred grabbed his hand.

——

"Ugh, I hate public school," Natalia whined. After being told not to wear her hood up inside the building, she officially began to plan a quick escape back to Europe. If only she didn't have her parents tracking her every move. Then it just might work.

"Just relax. At least we haven't run into any wannabe popular girls," Eduard said.

"Did I ask for your opinion?! And why are you still with me?" She poked his chest accusingly.

"Our classes are in the same hall." Eduard brushed off his shirt, as though the poke was contagious.

"See ya," Natalia said before diving into the sea off sweaty teens. Eduard just sighed and continued down the hall.

——

Lovino ran through the hallway. He wanted to put as much distance between him and the cheerleaders as possible. Fun fact: every 'popular girl' somehow thought they deserved him, despite his clear message of 'I'm gay and even if I wasn't I still wouldn't date you.' Some people never learn. He pushed through people, dodged gossip circles, and ducked under the arms of seniors.

He was almost to class when it happened. He tripped over his shoelaces and ran right into a skinny blond kid with round glasses and curly hair. Both went crashing down into the ocean of lost students.

"Ow," the blond said while adjusting his glasses. "Sorry, are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Lovino snapped. He got up and continued running all the way to class.

———-

The bell just rang as four out of breath students threw themselves at the table in the far corner of the room, right by the windows. This table would soon be iconic to the school as the most havoc-causing home to some chaotic students. Lovino sat with his arms folded, barely acknowledging Alfred, who he remembered from elementary school. Alfred was busy trying to convince Kiku, his (self declared) new friend that Keeks was most definitely an appropriate nickname. Kiku was trying to avoid eye contact with Alfred, instead trying to make small talk with the only girl, Natalia. Natalia just kept glaring at him and Alfred.

"Alright class," said their teacher. "Today you will get your first assignment. But first! Rules." She proceeded to go over a list of rules and safety precautions before handing out papers for their parents to sign.

"Hey, Keeks, what do you think of this?" Alfred showed Kiku a picture of a dog.

"Alfred I-"

"Jones! Put your phone away!"

"Yes ma'am." Alfred tucked his phone away.

"God, this class is too loud," Natalia muttered, rubbing her forehead.

"So, do you guys read zodiac signs? I'm a Cancer, ya know!" Alfred put his arm around an extremely uncomfortable Kiku.

"Alfred," Lovino gave Alfred a warning.

"Oh, sorry!" Alfred pulled his arm away.

" _Alfred!_ You and your table need to quiet down!"

"Sorry, ma'am."

Alfred And Lovino gave each other a nervous glance and chuckled. The rest of class was spent getting materials and drawing out ideas. Kiku drew realistic sketches of people. Natalia doodled roses. Lovino was trying his best to draw a person. Alfred focused on drawing the window he was facing.

The morning sunlight broke through the glass, surrounding Kiku in a golden ray. Before he knew it, Alfred was drawing him too. Lovino looked over his shoulder, smirking.

"You drawing your boyfriend or something?" Lovino whispered.

"What!? I only met him today!" Alfred yelled, red color spreading across his face.

"Hm?" Kiku looked up from his sketchbook, confused.

"Nothing," Alfred and Lovino said in alarm. Natalia, who heard all of it, snorted.

"And just what are you laughing at." The teachers shadow appeared over her.

"Nothing," the entire table nervously said.

"Thought so."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- and so begins Alfred's crush on the new guy  
> \- Natalia is beginning to reflect the bitterness inside me and I'm not sure if I want to stop it  
> \- other Baltic's will be introduced soon. Don't worry   
> \- I should change the summary to something about the sea of sweaty teens cause that seems to be the closest thing to the ocean so far  
> -kidding  
> \- oh hey look, another potential ship  
> \- this art teacher may or may not be based off of an art teacher I had   
> \- don't have much more to say  
> \- sorry for the short chapter   
> \- thank you for reading! We'll be heading more toward Halloween centered chapters after this


	6. Halloween Party

"A party?" Kiku asked.

"Yea, it'll be totally awesome dude!" Alfred grinned at him.

"I guess I could go," Kiku said, looking down to hide his flustered face. The cool October air blew his dark brown hair in front of his eyes.

Alfred has been denying his crush on Kiku, despite it being obvious. From day one everyone at school could tell he was head over heels. Even Kiku could tell. It was a bit weird, since Kiku had never had someone be so obviously in love with him. Not to mention he wasn't sure how to feel.

"Sweet, that brings me to my second question. I was wondering if you want to have matching costumes," Alfred said. "Of course not as a couple," he added when he saw Kiku tense up.

"Well, since this is my first time at a party, I suppose I could," Kiku said.

Alfred's face went red as a cherry. He didn't think Kiku would actually say yes. Forgetting about personal space, Alfred wrapped his arms around Kiku. "Thanks dude!"

"Alfred, please..." Kiku's muffled voice complained.

"Sorry." Alfred instantly let go.

"It's fine," Kiku said.

"So, what do you wanna dress up as? I was thinking something anime-y, ya know?" Alfred grinned.

"I guess, though I haven't watched much anime lately," Kiku responded as they walked onto the bus.

"Maybe we could go as Misty and As-"

"What!?" Kiku stopped in his tracks.

"Or you guys could go as Bob and Larry," Matthew said, making them jump.

"Bro, where'd you even come from?" Alfred asked. Matthew just sighed and took the next empty seat.

"Who's Bob and Larry?" Natalia asked, peaking out from behind a seat sleepily.

"Religious veggies," Alfred said as if it explained everything. He took a seat next to Matthew.

"Where's Eduard?" Kiku asked as he sat next Natalia.

"Still sick, but at least he's not coughing on us." She leaned back and shoved her knees into the back of the seat in front of her.

"Oh, well, I hope he feels better," Kiku said.

"Speaking of sick, Gilbert's out of the hospital," Alfred read from a recent text. "Jeez, I haven't seen him since elementary school."

"Just in time for your party, too," Matthew said.

"What's this Gilbert like?" Kiku wondered.

"He's nice, but loud," Matthew said as he took out his headphones. They were red and white, like his hoodie.

"So, like Alfred," Natalia said with a sarcastic smirk.

"Is your goal in life to make me feel miserable?" Alfred glared at her.

"Maybe." She popped her gum obnoxiously.

. . . . . . . . .

Halloween night. Gilbert drove Lovino and Feliciano to Kiku's house. Niko greeted them by running up to Gilbert and insisting they play LEGOs. Unable to resist, Gilbert followed. Feliciano and Lovino grinned.

"Costumes and makeup are over here," Mrs. Honda said. "Food is in the kitchen. KIKU!"

"Coming." He raced down the stairs, already dressed in pale white makeup and clothes. His hair had temporary white dye.

"Wow, you look spooky," Feliciano commented, making Kiku blush strongly.

"Feli, Gil, this is Kiku," Lovino said.

"Nice to meet you," Kiku said.

"Nice to meet you too." Feliciano threw his arms around him.

"Feli," Lovino sighed as he pulled his brother away. "You shouldn't just hug people like that."

"Is everyone ready," Mr. Honda called from outside.

"Yes, we're ready!" Feliciano yelled back.

"Then let's head out already," Gilbert said.

.........

"How do I look?" Alfred asked his older brother, Lukas.

"Needs a little more blue." Lukas grabbed the makeup brush and lightly dusted more blue onto Alfred's cheeks.

"Feels kinda weird watching you put on makeup," Matthew said with a smile.

"Don't judge! It's hallo-" "Alfred hold still!"

"Alfred, we're here," a bored voice came from down stairs.

"That's Natalia. Coming!" Alfred jumped up and ran down stairs.

"Wow, you look like a blueberry if it could go pale." Natalia grabbed an apple and took a huge bite out of it. Ironically, she was dressed as Snow White.

"Sorry, couldn't put poison in the apples."

They laughed. Eduard walked in, grinning like an idiot. He had on an ugly Christmas sweater, stating that what was really scary was that he got it in September. No one disagreed.

"Who's that?" Natalia pointed behind Alfred. At the window, Gilbert's face was pressed against it. Feliciano was jumping up and down behind him, trying to see inside.

"A pair of demons, I think," Eduard said.

Lovino appeared, yelled at them, then dragged them away.

"And there's their king."

"Hello," Kiku called as he pushed open the door.

"Oh, hey!" Alfred turned and ran to Kiku. "You look great."

"Thank you," Kiku blushed as he took in Alfred's outfit. Pale blue clothes and blue makeup. "You're very... blue."

"Thanks." Alfred put his arm around Kiku's shoulders.

"Alright, lets party!" Gilbert cheered.

........

After a failed game of twister (one wrong move and Natalia was punching) and eating too much candy, the merry group was falling asleep while watching Halloween movies. Gilbert and Lovino fell asleep on the couch, Natalia's head fell over, dragging her body with her, and Feliciano and Eduard fell asleep with their heads on the coffee table. The only ones awake were Kiku, who was scrolling through his phone, and Alfred. He wanted to say something.

But he didn't know what.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -ah, yes. My favorite holiday.  
> \- Alfred's obvious crush is something I love to write  
> \- also sorry for the little time skip. I'm trying to make it so there are events for holidays  
> \- also blushy Kiku is fun to write too  
> \- when I was writing I had the one hairbrush song from veggie tales stuck in my head  
> \- btw Alfred would have been Misty and Kiku would have been Ash  
> \- cold and flu season in Washington state. I hate it  
> \- the banter between Alfred and Natalia is supposed to be friendly   
> \- Feliciano tends to tag along with his brother since most of his friends tend to be his brothers friends  
> \- also Feliciano and Kiku will later be friends   
> \- the ugly sweater thing was based on an idea I had called the 'worst Halloween costume ever'  
> \- thanks for reading. A new chapter will be out soon


	7. Confess I Guess

Alfred wanted to say something. But he didn't know what.

It was close to two in the morning. A horror movie quietly screamed. The guests were scattered throughout the living room, deep in sleep. The host's family had been asleep for hours. And all Alfred could think about was Kiku. The slightly messy dyed hair, warm brown eyes that would droop more and more as the morning grew. Alfred thought he was beautiful.

He scooted closer to Kiku, barely subtle. Kiku glanced up at him. Alfred smiled, hoping to convey that nothing weird was happening.

"Kiku," Alfred whispered.

"Hm."

"Can we go to another room. So we don't wake the others." He felt stupid as he let the words escape him.

"Okay." Kiku slowly rose from the couch, stretching.

They walked upstairs and into Alfred's room. The blinds of the window were open enough for moonlight to shine in. Alfred sat down on his bed, Kiku at the end.

"Do you need something?" Kiku said as picked up a yellow blanket and wrapped himself in it.

"Yeah, I guess." Alfred avoided looking into his eyes. "I-I don't know."

"Alfred?" Kiku scooted closer.

Alfred took a deep breath. He told himself he had to. He leaned forward.

..........

Kiku sat on the couch, scrolling through Instagram. Nothing seemed really interesting. Other than the fact that he could feel Alfred staring down at him.

The couch shifted as Alfred scooted closer to him. Kiku couldn't help but glance up at him. Alfred's glasses were a bit crooked, with a goofy smile spread across his face.

"Kiku," he whispered.

"Hm." _Hm? Hm?_ He responded with _hm?_

"Can we go into another room," Alfred said. "So we don't wake the others," he added quickly.

"Okay." He stood and stretched. Alfred must have needed something anyway.

As they walked up the stairs, Kiku noticed photos hanging on the wall. There were pictures of Lukas and the twins as babies, as well as another little boy with pale hair and purple eyes. The more they climbed the stairs, the more the boys grew. Toothless first grade grins, freckled covered 11 year olds and a man standing in his college dorm.

Alfred lead him to a room towards the end of the hall. They walked in, Kiku realizing it was Alfred's room. Clothes were shoved into a barely closed closet, piles of pillows and blankets covered his bed, and his equally messy desk was in a spotlight of moonlight coming from the window. Alfred sat down on his bed. Kiku sat near the end.

"Do you need something?" Kiku began to worry. Why would Alfred need him.

"Yeah, I guess." Alfred avoided looking into his eyes. "I-I don't know."

"Alfred?" Kiku felt himself lean forward.

He watched Alfred breath in. Trying to get courage to say something. Then he leaned toward Kiku.

........

Alfred couldn't believe how nice it was. Close to three in the morning, the day after Halloween, and he was kissing Kiku Honda. He wrapped his arms around Kiku, pulling him closer. Kiku didn't kiss back, but he didn't try to pull away. For a wonderful moment, it was just them.

Alfred slowly pulled away, forcing himself to look Kiku in the eyes. Kiku's body was tense, but his eyes looked excited. Like he couldn't believe what happened, but liked it very much.

"I probably should have said this before I kissed you, but-"

"Alfred, I like you. But I can't. I'm sorry."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -welp  
> \- tired kids too tired and don't know how to handle love  
> \- sorry this chapter is shorter than the last  
> \- our main couple is so close but I don't want to have them together just yet  
> \- I don't really have much else to say  
> -thanks for reading!


	8. Can’t

"I can't. I'm sorry."

.........

Kiku sat in his room. The walls were too far away, the curtains blocking the sunlight as his alarm went off. He couldn't get it out of his head. Heartbroken eyes filled his memory. And that kiss.....

"Agh!" He fell face first into the pillow. If he was so unsure about his feelings, why couldn't he stop liking it. Alfred was loud, had no sense of personal space and didn't seem to think before he acted.

"Brother?" Niko opened the door. "Are you up? Dad says you're late."

"Tell him I don't feel good," Kiku said as he pulled his blanket over his head.

"Okay." He closed the door, feet thumping across the floorboards.

..........

Kiku was no where on the bus. Despite being rejected, Alfred still wanted to see him. Things could've at least gone back to the way it was. He still remembered that look. Happiness quickly crippling away as Kiku thought more about it. What was his reason to reject him. His parents? Was he already seeing someone? Did he not actually like him? The more Alfred thought about it, the more he wanted to skip school just to beg forgiveness.

"Alfred, sit down," Matthew said as he pushed his brother into a seat. Natalia and Eduard were asleep in the seat in front of him. Lovino was asleep on Gilbert's shoulder.

"Hey, Al, what happened to your friend?" Gilbert asked.

"Oh, I-"

"He felt sick and went home," Matthew said.

"That's too bad. He seems cool." Gilbert turned his attention to playing with Lovino's hair.

"Yea," Alfred whispered softly. "It is."

..........

Kiku spent the day reading YA fantasy novels. What better way to take your mind off things. He'd pick one up, read a few chapters, then move to another. He was surrounded by stacks of books, unable to stop. If someone knocked on his door, he wouldn't know. He was determined to keep reality out.

"Kiku!"

He jumped. His mom was at the end of his bed, looking angry.

"I've been calling your name! Some friends of yours are looking for you," she pulled him up.

"But-"

"And I know you're not sick! Why didn't you go to school!?"

"I rejected someone..."

"So! Shouldn't _they_ be the one staying home!?"

"I- I don't know," Kiku found himself standing in the kitchen and given food.

"You didn't eat all day. Do you want to pass out?" His mom continued grumbling.

"So, Who's looking for me?"

"What?!"

"Who's looking for me?" He said it softer, shrinking under his mother's intimidating gaze.

"Alfred, obviously." She turned her back on him and pulled a drink out of the fridge.

Kiku frowned. Why would Alfred want to see him after the rejection. That's when a knock echoed from the door.

"I think you'd better get that," his mom said as she walked away, flashing a worried smile.

Kiku walked up to the door. He slowly took a breath, before pulling it open. Bright, blue eyes stared back at him. A nervous smile pressed onto his face.

"Hey," Alfred said softly.

"Hi," Kiku whispered back. "Do you want to talk?"

"Sure." They sat down outside, in the grass.

"Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that so suddenly." Alfred forced himself to look into Kiku's eyes.

"You shouldn't apologize," Kiku countered. " _I_ was the one who rejected you. I even tried to hide. Do you know how much I read today?!"

Alfred chuckled. "More than I could in month, that's for sure! But, can I ask, why don't you want to date me?"

"I'm not ready," Kiku sighed. "You're great, truly you are. I just don't think I can handle a relationship right now."

"Alright, I respect that," Alfred said.

Kiku smiled. It was going much better than he expected. He leaned his head on Alfred's shoulder, closing his eyes and taking in the smells. Wet air from the recent rain clashing with soil and fallen leaves. There was also a strong scent of cinnamon and sugar.

Alfred had pulled out cookies. He raised one to Kiku's lips. He took a bite, sinking into the flavors. Alfred pulled the cookie away as Kiku chewed, taking a bite himself. Kiku looked up at Alfred. Maybe one day, he would be ready for him. Not today, but some day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Halloween!


	9. Rainy Days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for this chapter specifically:
> 
> Some homophobic themes are in this chapter. I personally have nothing against the community, and want to make it clear that Mei (Taiwan) is in a good place by the end of the chapter.
> 
> Also Yao (China) is kind of a dick in this chapter so sorry if you like him. I like his character too, but he (like most of the characters in the series) can be an ass sometimes. Sorry again. I’ll try to write him nicer in later chapters.

They whispered as she walked through the halls. Cupping hands in front of faces in an attempt to hide their lips, nervous glares following her. Boys looked disgusted, girls horrified as they pulled down on the edges of their uniforms. She ignored it all. Her short black hair combed neat, her uniform as clean as any other, and yet she was different. But in what way? She looked just like everyone else.

"Hey, is it true?" A girl with the same hair and uniform turned in her seat. "That you like girls, Mei?"

Mei was shocked. She knew something was up, but this? She only ever told one person, but they wouldn't say a thing, right?

"Miss Wang, report to the counselors office," a teacher said.

She slowly nodded and got up. The halls were almost empty, now that class was about to begin. The once normal door was now a death trap for her heart. She opened it, and a head looked up.

"Sit, Miss Wang," the counselor said, motioning toward a chair.

She sat.

"It has come to my attention that you have been feeling...... _things_ lately," he started, a worried look in his eyes. "We can take you to counseling. It would be the best option for you."

"Excuse me, but where did you hear this?" She said timidly.

"From your brother. He had you in mind, of course," he smiled at her, wrinkles forming around his old and worn eyes.

..........

"Dammit, Yao!" Mei slammed the door.

"Welcome home," her brother said as he cooked dinner. He didn't even flinch.

"You did this!" She screamed, pointing at her face. Red marks on her wrists, bruised everywhere.

"I didn't do anything," he sighed.

"Who else would have said something." She stomped towards him. If looks could kill, Yao would have been dead ten times over.

"It's dangerous!" He shouted, finally turning toward her.

"It's love!" She shoved him. He shoved back. They hadn't fought like this since they're parents were alive. They pulled hair and punched faces. Wrestling while Mei sobbed.

"Mei, Yao?" Leon stood in the hall, watching them fight. Yao stopped, shoving Mei away. He went to hold Leon, but he ran to his sister. "Mei, are you okay?" He cried.

"I-I'm fine," she said, wiping away the last of her tears.

Leon grabbed them, pulling them into a hug. "No more fighting," he said. And in that household, Leon's word was law.

...........

Rain poured down, students running into their classrooms with binders and backpacks over their heads. Natalia watched the clock, tapping her fingers on the cool table. Her biology teacher walked in, a cheesy grin plastered on her face. "We have a new student today. She's all the way from China!"

"It's, it's Taiwan." The new student raised her hand.

"Right, right. Sorry miss Xiao." She grabbed a stack of papers. "Anyways, start with this handout and use the notes from last class. Mei, go ahead and share notes with your neighbor."

"Yes ma'am," the class said.

"So, What's you're name?" Mei said, flashing a shy smile towards her neighbor.

"Natalia." The girl silently passed her some notes. Her pale blonde hair fell across her face, dark blue eyes holding a piercing glare. Mei felt her face grow hot.

"Thank you," Mei said, taking the papers.

"Mmn," was her reply.

Mei smiled awkwardly. This was going to be quite a year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- ah, yes. Middle school drama  
> \- Mei is Taiwan   
> \- I wanted to introduce her earlier but it didn't feel right. Expect this group of friends to grow.  
> \- I know some private schools have pretty strict dress codes. I've never actually been to one though   
> \- I've also never been in trouble with counselors or anything, though there was this one rumor about someone making out at the back of one of my classes. I was interrogated despite being in the front of the room actually doingmy work  
> \- things. Something I was told by my family after they assumed I didn't know what lesbians are and had to explain it to me after watching a show   
> \- Yao is China   
> \- Leon is Hong Kong   
> \- I love China's character but politically I'm iffy. He will get better don't worry  
> \- Leon's a year younger than Mei   
> \- a potential ship? Maybe...


	10. Playing With Hearts

"Morning, Lovi!" Gilbert leaned against the door frame, grinning like an idiot.

"Hi." Lovino shoved past him.

"Wow, you look good today," Gilbert commented, quickly following.

"Hey, are you sure you should be driving?" Lovino asked.

"I'm not that sick," Gilbert said with a nervous chuckle. Lovino just gave him a worried look before getting in the car.

"So, what's the plan for today?" Gilbert asked as he turned on the car.

"School. You need to buckle." Lovino stared out the window.

"I mean after that."

"Homework, I guess...."

"But it's your easy day," Gilbert whined.

"Pay attention," Lovino said, Gilbert slamming on the breaks.

"Shit. That was close." He caught his breath. "Hey, Lovi. If something's wrong.... just, just tell me."

"Why are you here?" Lovino muttered. His hand went up, resting his head on it. "Shouldn't you be in the hospital or at home?"

"It's too lonely." Gilbert frowned. He reached over and grabbed Lovino's hand, the other jumping a bit in surprise. "Relax. I'm not gonna bite."

"I know." Lovino finally turned his face towards Gilbert, scowling.

The rest of the ride was silent as they made their way through school traffic. Between the busses and careless driving teens, it was almost impossible to find a good parking spot. Lovino unbuckled and scooped up his bag. But Gilbert didn't let go of his hand. In fact, he raised Lovino's hand to his lips, a playful smile dancing across his face, violet-red eyes staring at Lovino's red face.

"Have a great day," he sang.

"You too, bast-" He was cut off by slamming the door. Gilbert smiled. Boy, was he in love.

Lovino let his hair fall into his face in an attempt to hide it. A face full of red and a shy smile to accompany it.

"What'cha smiling 'bout?" Lovino jumped. Alfred stood next to him, stuffing a blueberry muffin in his mouth.

"None of your business," Lovino said, adjusting his backpack.

"Jeez, does no one wanna gossip!" Alfred threw up his hands.

"Why do you of all people want to gossip..."

"I'm bored."

"Well then, good luck with that." Lovino tried to walk ahead but Alfred grabbed his wrist and dragged him into an empty closet.

" _What_ do you want?!" Lovino wanted to smack him.

"I kissed him," Alfred whispered. Lovino just frowned.

"Good for you for coming out of the closet. Now can we get out of this one?"

" _Please Lovi?_ " Alfred begged him.

"Fine. Talk about your boyfriend." Lovino waved for him to continue.

"That's just it. He rejected me," Alfred said. "I swear, he likes me. He said so himself. And he told me why he rejected me! But now he's avoiding me! Why?! What did I _do_!?" Alfred put his head in his hands.

"He's probably still processing it," Lovino sighed, glancing at the door. "Just leave him be for now.... by the way, this is Kiku, right?"

"Did, did I not say...." Alfred looked up.

The bell rang. Lovino opened the door and left. Alfred walked to class with his head down, still questioning his life.

.........

Kiku sat in the back of his honors class, listening to the teacher lecture about proper grammar. Apparently being in an honors class didn't make you smart. Just struggle more.

He glanced to the side. Arthur Kirkland, an acquaintance he met after being told to sit in the back with him, wasn't even bothering with taking notes. The man was smart, but thought school was beneath him. He slid a note towards Kiku.

_ Have you told him? _

Kiku tensed. He wrote back:

_ More like he told me... I refused. _

_Why? _Arthur quickly responded.

_ I'm too nervous. _

_ Fine. There's a Christmas party at Antonio's. Lovino's friend. I'm sure you'll both get invited so you can try again then. I can help, too. _

_Thanks._

Kiku looked back up at the board, quickly jotting down a few more things before packing up. The bell rang and he smiled. Maybe he was more ready than he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Lovi And Gilbert being all flirty is fun  
> \- school traffic sucks! Especially in winter.  
> \- every single time I opened this up to write Harry Potter would be on and I'd get distracted. Honestly, this whole month was just wizards.  
> \- Arthur is England   
> \- I might have introduced him due to watching too much of those movies   
> \- anyways thanks for reading!


	11. Holiday Party

_Knock. Knock. Knock._

Opening the door, Lovino was greeted by Kiku, who was holding a small gift, and... Arthur?

"Hello, Lovino." Arthur looked down.

"Ah, hi." Lovino let them in.

"Arthur!" They turned towards Antonio. Smiling, he walked over and put his arm around Arthur.

Arthur looked up at him. "I suppose I brought you something nice. Have anything for me?"

"Oh, yea! Over here." Antonio lead him away, leaving Kiku and Lovino.

"Wanna grab something to eat?" Lovino asked. Kiku nodded and they headed toward the kitchen.

Warm, chocolate scents blasted their faces as they pushed the door open. Feliciano and Laura ran around with, mixing food and drinks. Gilbert walked past, dipping his finger into a bowl of frosting before being scolded and chased out by Roderich. Erzsébet grabbed some healthy food and waved it in Feliciano's face.

"You need to make something good to eat," Erzsébet insisted.

"Aw, c'mon." Feliciano nudged the food away.

"Lovino," Erzsébet said, glancing his way.

"What, do you expect me to convince him?" He asked. Erzsébet responded with a light smack on the head.

"Who's this?" She asked him.

"My friend?" Lovino looked at her like she was stupid, earning another smack. "Ouch."

"Kiku Honda." Kiku smiled nervously, adjusting the gift.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Erzsébet, your friends guardian." They shook hands.

Lovino tapped Kiku's shoulder. "I think Alfred's in the living room of you want to say hi."

"Oh, okay." Kiku nodded and headed to what he hoped was the living room.

Alfred was out like a light. He slept in front of the fireplace, tired after overwhelming himself with studying the night before. Drool slipping out of his mouth, he snored. Kiku almost tripped over him.

"Um, Alfred..." Kiku gently shook him.

Alfred groaned, turning away. Kiku put his hand against Alfred's forehead, sighing.

"Alfred. You're sick." Kiku tried shaking him again.

"No m' not," his muffled voice complained.

"We need to get you home."

"M' fine."

"Alfred..."

Alfred turned, slowly, eyes squinting as his glasses slid off his nose. Softly, Kiku pushed the glasses on. A worried smile on his face.

"C'mon, Al." This time Alfred let Kiku pull him up. "Why did you come?"

"I didn't think I'd get sicker," Alfred whined, putting all of his weight on him. "Geez, you're really strong."

"I got you something, but I think it'll have to wait," Kiku said.

"Really?"

"Yes, really." Kiku rolled his eyes.

Alfred called his brother, getting a very long lecture through the phone. Apparently Lukas was on a date with a very pretty lady from work. When he arrived, both Alfred and Kiku apologized.

"Don't bother, Kiku. It wasn't your fault. But if you do need a ride...?" He offered.

"Thank you, but I'll be fine." Kiku slipped Alfred the gift. "Get better soon."

"Don't worry. I'll be okay." Alfred gave him a thumbs up. Kiku stood on his toes and pecked him on the cheek.

"You better," Kiku whispered, smiling.

Alfred collapsed into the passenger seat. Despite feeling like crap, he couldn't stop grinning. He touched the side of his face.

"So, was that your boyfriend?" Lukas asked.

"Shut up," Alfred mumbled.

"Just asking," Lukas said with a chuckle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- new ship!   
> \- I started a new book while writing this so it might inspire some scenes in the future   
> \- I was also sick during the holidays   
> \- don't really have much else to say  
> \- Thank you for reading


	12. He Gets It From You

Winter break would be coming to a close, and the new year began. Kiku was eating eggs on Saturday morning, wondering if Alfred liked the little gift. It wasn't much, just a book on photography. Alfred always talked about wanting to make photos that would make even the best Instagram models jealous. He just needed to learn how. Sure, he could just text him and ask, but Alfred was sick and he didn't want to sound impatient.

Light kept shining in his face, so Kiku adjusted his seat. A strong minty scent from the leftover holiday candy made him wish for snow. Sadly, he had to wait a few weeks for snowmageddon. Nico walked in the room, yawning like always.

"You should really go to bed earlier," Kiku said, watching his brother pour coffee.

"You're one to talk." Nico gave Him a tired glare.

"I have homework to do! And don't be rude."

Nico had been bitter since they moved. Always tired, always alone. He didn't talk as much, nor did he eat with them. Strange, considering he used to always be more social.

"You sound like mom," Nico grumbled as he stormed off, not even bothering to eat breakfast.

Kiku let out a worried sigh. _What can you do?_ He thought.

............

Alfred stared at it. It had been laying by his bed since the party. It was a nice thing Kiku got him. He wanted so badly to read it, but was afraid he'd ruin it. Grabbing his glasses, Alfred sat up and stretched. He shuffled down stairs and grabbed a cup of water, wondering what the others were doing.

Natalia said she was visiting Ukraine with her sister and father. Lovino and Feliciano would spend the holidays with some relatives of Erzsébet's. And Kiku, he didn't know what the boy was up to. He never said a thing. A smile crept onto his face as he fantasized Kiku walking through the front door and hugging him, asking that he never let go. It was cheesy, but he couldn't help it. Alfred just loved Kiku too much.

Someone did come through the front door, but it wasn't Kiku. Emil was back from a camping trip. The younger of the four brothers, Emil was always trying his best to stand out. He bleached his hair and wore red-violet contacts, yet failed to look intimidating. He looked closer to Lukas, was as quiet as Matthew, and could be just as irritating as Alfred.

"Welcome home. How was camp?" Alfred asked.

"Fine." Emil dropped his bags on the floor. "The counselor kept talking about how we needed to get out more. We only ever went inside to sleep!"

"Yikes. Anything good?"

"I guess the fresh air was nice. I'm gonna unpack. Later." Emil scooped up his bags and ran upstairs.

_Maybe I need a bit of fresh air, too_ , Alfred thought as he headed out the door.

Despite the cold temperature, the sun shined. He sat down, staring at the trees swaying. Down the road he could see the top of Kiku's house. Smiling, Alfred silently wished he could get better.

-—————-

Stumbling up the road, Kiku ran to Alfred's. He just got a text from him. Something about it being urgent.

"Al-Alfred! What's wrong!?" He yelled in worry.

"Nothing. I just wanted to know what kind of gift you want." Alfred smiled. Kiku felt his cheeks burn.

"What?"

"Yea, well, your birthdays coming up and Christmas just ended so I wanna, y'know, get you something." When Kiku laughed, Alfred jumped up in surprise. "Was that wrong?"

"No, no," Kiku tried to say through his tears. "I just thought it was something serious."

"But this is serious. I gotta know what you want." Alfred grabbed the blue sleeveof his jacket, worry in his eyes.

"Alfred," Kiku said, the giggles finally fading away. "All I want is for you to feel better."

"I already am," Alfred said, quieter this time.

"Good," Kiku just barely whispered. He then grabbed Alfred's neck and brought their heads closer. "I was worried sick. Don't ever do that again."

"Get sick?" Confusion flashed across his face.

"No." Kiku let his eyes glance at Alfred's lips. "Just don't be an idiot and go to parties when your sick like that."

"Well, now I guess I gotta find you a new gift," Alfred said, heart pounding.

"I'll think about i-"

"I didn't know you had a thing for the neighbor!" Kiku quickly shoved Alfred back. Emil, with half his body hanging out the window, stared down at them in surprise.

"Don't you have clothes to unpack!" Alfred shouted back.

"You're not denying it." Emil pulled himself back into his room before Alfred could say anything else. Kiku looked at Alfred like he was waiting for him to say something.

"Sorry," Alfred mumbled. " he's kind of a dumbass."

Kiku walked over and pecked him on the cheek. "He gets it from you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- new semester got me really busy.  
> \- I also am in a photography class which is neat  
> \- Kiku's family makes a bigger deal about New Years than Christmas, so Kiku wasn't expecting Alfred to want to get him something   
> \- Emil is Iceland   
> \- trying to work Nico in a little more. I want him to become an important character but need to work on it.  
> \- Emil is only a year younger than Alfred. They aren't technically related. Alfred's mom is Lukas's mom, Lukas's dad is Emil's dad.   
> \- Kiku was really close to confessing   
> \- thanks for reading! Happy Valentine's Day too!


	13. Don’t Let Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning ⚠️   
> This chapter has sensitive topics.   
> tw for themes of suicide (it doesn't actually happen cause it's a flashback and the characters still alive, but still I think there needs to be a warning.)

Gilbert _really_ needed to be more carful. He overdid it again. Mask over his face, lying barely awake, Gilbert was smiling. Lovino was not. They stared at each other for what felt like an eternity, til Ludwig cleared his throat. The boy held lunch in his hands, glancing at his brother, then Lovino's tight grasp on his hand.

"Is he..?"

"Fine? Dunno yet." Lovino didn't even look up.

Lovino didn't exactly like Ludwig. He was always worrying, stressed about the little things. He never cried, but always seemed to walk a fine line between keeping calm and completely loosing his shit. It sent Lovino on edge. Lovino's temper was always something that pushed buttons on even the most laid back of people, and Ludwig's delicate person reminded him of just how much damage he could do.

It scared him, to say the least.

"I wish he'd stop pushing himself..." Ludwig said. He set the food down and curled up on one of the chair.

"Me too, kid," Lovino said, rubbing his thumb across Gilbert's knuckles. "Me too."

-.-.-.-.

It was summer when they first met. At least, that's how Gilbert rememberers it. Lovino sat by the piano. His grandfather, still alive at the time, was coaching Roderich for his piano recital. Lovino would be starting school, but for now he could just sit and watch the lessons while his brothers napped.

Roderich finished the lesson, quietly thanking Mr. Vargas. That's when _they_ entered. A tall man with long blond hair and an icy expression marched over to Mr. Vargas, slapping a paper against the piano. Two little boys quickly ran after him, his sons. Mr. Vargas slowly turned a warm smile in the mans direction and said, "I do believe I already told you, unless you have someone to enroll, you have no business here."

"You're not getting any younger, Vargas!" The blonds fingertips slightly creased the paper as he shook. "What happens when your gone? Think of your boys. Think of _her..._ "

"you can't exactly take care of things, either. You're a single man with two boys, no better than me."

"Well at least I'm not about to knock on deaths door! You were great, but now you can barely take care of yourself, let alone a few kids. _Please_ ," he begged. "Don't do this to yourself."

"I still have time, Beilschmidt. Let me spend it." Mr. Vargas slid the paper back towards him.

Gritting his teeth, Beilschmidt turned towards his oldest. "What instrument do you want to play?"

——-

Gilbert found himself wanting to gain the attention of the messy haired Italian boy who watched piano lessons. The boy sat through his first lesson, but quickly ran out declaring his hatred of flutes. At that moment, Gilbert turned to Mr. Vargas and said, " how do I become the best flute player in the world."

Mr. Vargas chuckled, "with time and practice. Though, I think you can just settle on impressing him." He motioned toward the door his grandson ran off through.

-.-.-.

Gilbert sat in the passenger seat. His mother was driving him to a hospital check up. It was just another sunny day, but something felt off. Like he was about to lose something important. He glanced out the window, seeing the bridge up ahead. He saw a figure sitting on the edge. As they got closer, the person stood. As they got closer, he realized who it was.

And what they were about to do.

"Mom," Gilbert said quietly.

"In a minute," she replied, going back to her phone call.

"Mom. _Mom!_ " Gilbert raised his voice, shaking her.

"Gilbert, I'm busy here!"

"He's- he's going to... _pull over now!_ " Gilbert motioned to the bridge they were about to cross. His mom finally saw it, pulling over quickly.

Gilbert jumped out as soon as the car stopped. He ran as fast as his legs could carry him. _There's just no way,_ he thought. He made it to him just as he jumped. Reaching out for him. His fingers brushed against the back of his shirt. His head turned in response. Tears fell. Hands grabbed for something, anything. Anything other than air.

He found a sweaty palm in his. His heart beat faster than it had in forever. The bar separating pressed against his stomach. He screamed. That sweaty palm was slipping. He screamed for help. He felt himself sliding forward. He screamed for an ambulance. He couldn't breathe. He could no longer scream.

He vaguely felt something grip the bottom of his shirt. Someone was pulling them up. The world blurred and faded around him. He heard crying. Deep, ugly crying. He was crying, too. _Lovino..._

——-

Gilbert woke up to see Lovino curled against his side, softly snoring. The lights were dimmed and he could see the faint silhouette of two people talking behind a curtained window. He looked down at Lovino, noting the dried tear marks on his cheeks. He wondered if he fought with Ludwig again. They never really got along, those two, but it had gotten worse as Gilbert got sicker.

A sudden noise, yelling, made Gilbert jump. The silhouettes were arguing, one motioning towards him. He couldn't hear what they were saying, but he understood. His condition was getting worse. He only had so much time, and not one person he knew could handle it. It scared him with how easy it was for them to lose it. He was the one dying. Shouldn't he be the one losing it?

He wanted them to just stop. Stop yelling and crying and just... smile... for once.

He felt a shift on the blanket. Lovino was awake. He looked up at Gilbert, groaning a bit as he shifted closer, bending over him. "Hey," he whispered with a soft, dreamy smile.

Gilbert felt drunk, seeing those gentle eyes gazing down on him. "Hey."

He reached up, wrapping his arm around his neck, bringing him closer so their foreheads touched. Warm breath tickled his nose. He closed his eyes, the space between them closing as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -oh boy! I was gonna put this in the story at some point, but I was expecting it to happen more towards the end. It's about midway through the story so far, at least 25 chapters. Probably more. Anyway, I thought this would work better as kind of a change in tone in the story. It's gonna be a bit more serious from now on.   
> \- Ludwig Beilschmidt is Germany   
> \- Lovino's brothers are Italy and Seborga (Feliciano and Romeo)  
> \- mr. Beilschmidt is germania   
> \- next chapter will focus on a certain characters birthday   
> -thank you for reading. I'm so glad so many people have voted and added this story to their list. I know this chapter has had a bit of a longer wait, but I was having trouble writing and school was keeping me busy. Now that I don't have clubs and crazy projects everywhere, I'm taking more time to write. 
> 
> Okay......
> 
> Now I guess I'll share news about other things that happened (kinda like a life update). For those who don't know, I started writing two new fanfics for a certain fandom. Long story short I watched Promare and am now obsessed. 
> 
> On of these fanfics is a school au and I thought it'd be cool to throw in some references to it. This is just a heads up if you see any unfamiliar names popping up. I really recommend watching Promare when you have the chance.
> 
> Once again, thank you all for reading and I wish everyone the best during these difficult times.


	14. Birthday Kisses

Kiku walked off the bus. The day had barely started and everyone already started giving him gifts and wishing him well. Turning 15 wasn't that big of a deal, yet everyone wanted to make it that way. Most of the gifts were from Alfred. The blond walked with his arm around Kiku, going on about things they could do later.

"There's this wicked cool pizza place we could go to. This guy from the baseball team works there. He says it's a big hit!" Alfred offered.

"Pizza does sound appetizing," Kiku agreed.

"Hey, losers!" Natalia walked up to them, holding a leather jacket over her shoulder. "You got plans tonight?"

"Oh, well-"

"We're going on a date," Kiku said, grabbing Alfred's hand.

"What?!" Both Alfred and Natalia squeaked out.

"We're going on a date," Kiku repeated a little slower.

They freaked out. Alfred stood there, muttered _'oh my god'_ repeatedly. Natalia hugged Kiku, practically shrieking in excitement because _finally_. A girl with curly redish hair walked by, Natalia immediately turning to her and shouting, "pay up, Thyma!" The girl grumbled and pulled out a twenty.

"You were _betting on this?!_ " Alfred shouted.

"Hey, you guys aren't the only power couple in the school," Natalia said, fanning herself with the money.

"People think we're a powers couple?" Kiku asked, tilting his head.

"Well, duh. You and the two idiots from GSA." She rolled her eyes. "Anyways, I gotta go buy myself something pretty. You two lovebirds have fun!"

They watched her walk down the hall for a moment before heading to their own class. "So, this is a date?" Alfred couldn't keep the excitement off of his face.

"Only if you want it to be. If you don't want to that's fine." Kiku started to let go of his hand.

"No, no!" Alfred squeezed his hand tighter. "I just want to be sure."

"Good." They stopped at Kiku's next class. Kiku gave him a quick peck on the cheek before shoving him into hallway traffic. "See you later."

Alfred grinned, walking to class with an extra skip in his step.

-.-.-.-.-.

"Oh my God. What am I gonna wear?" Alfred practically shouted, digging through his clothes.

"Plain white shirt, you're nicer pair of blue jeans, granny's old jacket," Emil said.

"You think that's appropriate?" Alfred asked, holding up the jacket. Despite its old age, it was the nicest thing he owned. His grandfather gave it to his grandmother, who then later passed it on to him. The 50 on the back referenced the year it was made in.

"That's, like, the nicest thing you own. I'd wear it if I could," Emil reassured. He grabbed a piece of candy and popped it into his mouth.

"Alright." Alfred took his shirt off. "I gotta get ready quickly. Who knows how early he'll arrive!"

_Knock knock knock!_

"I got it," Matthew shouted from downstairs. The door creaked open and Alfred could barely make out Kiku's soft voice.

Alfred quickly pulled on the jeans and shirt, throwing his jacket over the shoulder. "How do I look?"

"Like you belong in an 80's teen romance," Emil said.

"Haha, funny," Alfred shot back sarcastically. "See you."

"See you. Good luck." Emil gave him a pat on the back before he left.

Alfred ran down the hall, almost tripping down the stairs, and turned the corner. Kiku stood in the middle of the living room, smiling. It was one of his shy smiles, the one you don't see often. He wore a grey hoodie over a purple sweater, black jeans and red vans.

"Hello, Alfred," Kiku said as he reached out a hand. "Are you ready for our date?"

-.-.-.-.

Natalia found herself staring down the hall. The glistening lights practically blinding her as she rubbed sleep out of her eyes. It was late. She had fallen asleep while doing homework, only to be woken by yelling.

Down the hall was where the yelling was. Her mother. Furious. Guess brother came home. 

She stepped into the kitchen. Her brother stood by the doorway, pale in comparison to the dark walls and wood that make up the house. That same off putting smile stretched across his face. Their mother continued to cuss in his face. Ivan never really got along with her. Natalia grabbed an apple and headed back to bed.

Her phone buzzed as she sat down. Opening up her phone, she saw a picture of Alfred and Kiku laughing. They were at the Pancake House, one of the local family diners. Kiku had powdered sugar all over his face. An elderly woman glared at them in the background.

Natalia smiled halfheartedly.

_At least they are having fun..._

Alfred was still laughing when they walked out of the diner. Kiku smiled. "Was it really that funny? Alfred?"

"Sorry Keeks!" Alfred managed. "It was just so-so cute."

Kiku felt warmth in his face. He shifted his weight, muttering, "You say that a lot."

"Hey," Alfred said, turning to face Kiku. He brushed some of his boyfriend's hair out of his face. "That's 'cause it's true. You're really cute. More than cute. You're..."

"Alfred?" Kiku breathed, feeling frozen in time.

Alfred cupped his face, bringing it closer. He pressed his lips against his, wrapping his other arm around Kiku's waist. Kiku froze up at first, only to relax into the kiss moments after. When they separated, Kiku grinned. He pulled Alfred back for a second kiss, smiling against his lips. It was...

"Perfect," Alfred mumbled against Kiku's mouth. "You're perfect."

A car honked. A 'woop' came from inside as Magnus Denson waved his arm out the window. "Heard you lovebirds need a ride."

"Dude!" Alfred ran over and fist bumped Magnus. "It's been a while! When did you get back?"

"This morning! Lukas say anything yet?"

"No, sorry," Alfred said. Magnus looked like a kicked puppy. "Don't worry. He'll say yes eventually."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Magnus then seemed to do a complete one-eighty with his emotions. "So! You must be the amazing Kiku. I'm Magnus. I'm, like, totally not related to Alfie over here, but he's like a brother, so don't mess him up, kay? Kay. Hop on in, guys!"

Kiku, more than a bit baffled by the man's attitude, nodded quickly and got in the car.

The drive home was full of 'dude's and 'bro's, not to mention some rather inappropriate music. Alfred was as loud as ever, but Magnus was somehow worse. Kiku figured this was where he got it from.

They were almost home when Kiku's phone rang. He picked it up, expecting gossip of some sort. Instead what he got was panicked crying.

"Oh my god, he-he's going. He's going to-"

"Slow down, Lovino. Deep breaths," Kiku directed. "What's going on who's going where?"

"Gilbert!" Lovino shrieked into the phone. "He's asleep! He won't wake up. He's going- going to die!"

"Hold on, no one's gonna die," Kiku reassured. Magnus gave him a weird look. "He's still breathing, right?"

"Yeah..."

"Get the nurse, explain what happened. Everything is going to be fine," Kiku said, managing to calm him down.

"Yeah, okay. I'll do that."

"Good. I'm gonna hang up now so you can do that. We can talk later."

"Kay."

"Kay."

Kiku hung up. He gave Alfred a knowing look. His boyfriend nodded in response. It was going to be a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Magnus is Denmark   
> \- Thyma is a character from the movie Promare (& is supposed to reference my other fanfic)
> 
> This next part is for Wattpad readers specifically, but it does have some information 
> 
> Wow, 1k reads! That's seriously a lot. 
> 
> I want to thank you all for reading this far. I know my updates have been slower, but that's partly do to working on various projects at once and partly because I'm trying to write longer chapters. 
> 
> I'll be honest, hetalia is no longer a huge interest of mine. I still love the fandom (and all of you) and I will finish this fic, but this is likely my last hetalia work unless I get a sudden new wave of interest in the fandom.
> 
> On the other hand, as I may have mentioned before, I'm taking a strong interest in Promare so many of my future works will center around that. 
> 
> Once again thanks for reading and I'll see you in the next chapter.
> 
> Support me here:  
> Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mochibat  
> Twitter: https://twitter.com/pippy72770976?lang=en  
> Tumblr: https://friendlymochibat.tumblr.com/

**Author's Note:**

> \- "they say the world gets brighter when you fall in love." A reference to Your Lie In April (which I'm currently watching).  
> -it takes place in Washington because I know the place well. I haven't decided if it's in a particular town yet, but it's in a small(er) town.  
> \- anyone who's lived there knows you can have lakes across from farms across from forests across from parks across from the sound. Literally.  
> \- lots of dirt roads that connect neighbors. And two story houses.  
> \- Niko is Niko Niko (the micronation). Kiku is Japan.  
> \- I always thought that Kiku would love having a spacious room (if he had to go western style).  
> \- Alfred is America and Matthew is Canada. They're twins in this story, but Matthew is older.  
> \- obviously some problems with the dad.  
> \- they are Lukas's half brothers on their mothers side.  
> \- "no. No." From the time that I've spent with little kids I find for some, when they're upset at least, will repeat words to get their point across.  
> \- kids will either be very trusting or not at all.
> 
> Twitter: https://mobile.twitter.com/pippylovespizza
> 
> Tumblr: https://friendlymochibat.tumblr.com/


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